“Hey, I wanted to let you know that a parent emailed the two of us last night and she’s not happy. But I assured her that everything is fine with the youth group and that you were doing exactly what you know how to do,” he said. The new pastor and her husband had arrived only 10 months before and he and I were asked to run the youth group.

“Please let us know anything we should know about your child, including concerns, as we begin our new youth group year,” the email said. We got a few replies from parents who expressed concerns regarding their anxious children. My co-leader shared with me that the bouncy, boisterous nature of  past groups might not work for some kids who wanted to try again this year. I was inspired and motivated to help these kids feel welcomed and comfortable. I consulted with my high school youth group pastor, who has 20+ years of experience running, and growing exponentially, youth groups in different churches.

“They must feel that all are welcome, Chris, not just the existing kids, or loud or active ones. As the leader, to maintain your group and grow it, all kids should feel comfortable there and willing to invite their friends, because they feel they all would belong.” This is what I set out to do.

“She’s unhappy because her son is unhappy. Apparently he came home upset and his anxiety, his condition, made it worse,” my co-leader said.

“What condition?” I asked. “I only know of the other kids with anxiety about the group. Did she share with us what this condition was about? I should know about that… I should have known about it.”

“She’s telling us about it now. When you asked her kid to help create a safe comfortable environment for the whole group during youth group last night, he didn’t take it well. I told her